LOLers

For me, LOL is like Chinese water torture.

It's a sharp object being rammed under my finger nails.

It's my teeth being pulled out one by one.

It's being on a radio show with a smelly back-stabbing schmuck who has a massive ego and foam on the corner of mouth.

Okay, I admit it, I have fallen prey to the depraved forces on the internet that turn human beings into obnoxious, latin speaking, nomenclatures. I have flamed, I have trolled, I have lurked, I've been addicted, and I'm sure that I have LOLed a time or two.

As a recovering net-aholic I can, with some authority, state the evils of the internet.

Spam, scams, and the anonymity that turns losers into trolls or snobs into pretentious moderators.

But nothing, NOTHING, is worse than "LOL".

Hank Moody from Californication hated LOL too because it was the "death of the english language". It was writing without grammar and punctuation. I could care less about grammar, in fact I despise it with all my heart and soul (but that is a blog for another day) but I do agree that LOL sucks.

First of all, it doesn't make sense. Who laughs in silence? It is utterly redundant.

Second, it's one more way for supercillius dweebs to be condescending and dense.

Conversations go something like this-

"Katrina is far different than the BP oil spill because Bush left those people to die in the superdome".

"LOL, no he didn't".

"How do you explain what happened with those people after 9/11"

"LOL, no he didn't"

It's the internet equivolent of laughing in your face. Only face to face that kind of nervous laughter is a knee jerk reaction that acts as a defense mechanism. LOL is a deliberate tactic for being a jerk.

Third, it's WAY overused.

LOLers, I beg of you, give up your evil ways. Don't go towards the light of pop culture idiocy.